Bant/Rants #3: Who is a Graphic Designer

Graphic Designer (n).

Definition
1.) That person nobody listens to, and has a lesser understanding of his job, than everyone else.
Usage

a. “Seriously, you’re not a designer at all. If you were, you would know that these colours blend well together. What’s bad in combining neon green, lilac and this dark red for the company logo?”

b. “Who told you that combination is bad? See I also know how to use Photoshop” . “But this isn’t Photoshop…” “Just do it. Is it not my design?”

c. “I have heard you. Do it like that. It’s my company logo, isn’t it? I want it this way.”
* two days later*
“It seems this thing is not working. People are not liking it. Couldn’t you have told me, it’s not OK that way? Aren’t you supposed to be the expert?”

d. “Since its for youths, you need to use vibrant colours. Colours like orange, yellow and a lighter shade of green, and all such, are colours we can pick from or combine effectively”. “See, use black and brown. I prefer those two colours. Are the youths the ones who are running the show or are not just participants?”

graphic-design-meme-01
e. “This logo is not really fine”. “OK. Let’s do this. Take it to your people and let them see it. Give me feedback on how it’s received.
*three days later*
“Wow! It’s beautiful. They love it!”

f. “Can we change the design? My aunty doesn’t think it’s working.”
“What does your aunt do for a living?”
“She owns a shop on my street, where she sells provisions”.

g. “How is the copy too long? Abeg, put it all there. They need to see everything.”
*next day*
“Why didn’t you tell me, that the words are too many? Don’t you know your job?”
*sends screenshot of chat and email with client*
“So you copied the chat? Is that good? Is that not childish and unprofessional?

graphic-designer-meme-Oprah

Synonyms 

1.) That person who is often expected to do to do the impossible or unreasonable

Usage

a.) “I like this picture of him standing, but turn it into him sitting”
“if you want a man sitting, then let’s get an image of a man sitting”.
“No, I want this one but I want him sitting”.
“The image bank may have pictures of him seated. That makes more sense to use, than making a man sit. Besides that is impossible. You can manipulate things but you cannot make him sit. ” ”
OK. Check for an image, but remember, that it is this one I want. So let it be this exact image but of hm seated”.
“You can’t have this one and an image of him sitting at the same time. It may be the same model but he won’t be doing the same thing or look the same way, per se.”
“Then make him sit. Don’t you know how to use photoshop? ”

b.” Make this image bolder.”
“You cannot make an image bold. You can increase or decrease or treat it in some way, but boldness is not something you can do”.

Design-Humor-What-NOT-to-Say-to-a-Graphic-Designer-11
c. “I want this image to look sexy.”
“How does one do that? What does that even mean?”

d. “I want her to look like a white woman. Shey you can do it with Photoshop?”
“If you want a white woman, why not get a white woman? WHY MAKE A BLACK WOMAN LOOK LIKE A WHITE WOMAN? ”
” you’re the expert, you should know. ”

e.) Client : Make the colour purplish.
Designer: You mean you want purple?
Client: No, not purple. Purplish. You should know what I mean. It’s like purple but it’s not purple.
Designer: You mean like a shade of purple?
Client: No, not a shade. Make it purplish. Why do you like purple so much?

f. Client : Make the colour purplish.
Designer: You mean you want purple?
Client: No, not purple. Purplish. You should know what I mean. It’s like purple but it’s not purple.
Designer: You mean like a shade of purple?
Client: No, not a shade. Make it purplish. Why do you like purple so much?

g. Client: Can you make this background darker than black?
*long pause*
Designer: You do realize what you’re saying right?


This Bant/Rantz was contributed by Onuora Ikechukwu Onianwa. You can check out his Behance. Be sure to sound off in the comments with your worst client-designer encounters!


Update:

We found this hilarious video while making this post:

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3 thoughts on “Bant/Rants #3: Who is a Graphic Designer

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